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Faith and Fear - A memoir by Jesse Friedman |
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After nearly a decade of revisions and editing, I have completed a memoir about my arrest, prison-life, and my traumatic post-prison adjustment. "Faith and Fear" is a literary quilt, a collection of essays written at various times in my life. These are stories which have been screaming to be written down. The manuscript requires extensive editing and revisions, Someday I expect two things will happen: The first is that I will have a genuine "ending" for my book, which heretofore is still an on-going story of fighting for justice and my life restored to me. The second is that enough time will pass allowing me to delve into revising the manuscript without continually being traumatized by the subject matter. A lot of people have wondered how it is that I could have pled guilty to crimes for which I knew I was innocent. In order to understand you have to understand how beaten-down and destroyed by life my soul had become during that horrible post-arrest year in 1988. In the first major section of the book I explain so many aspects of the story which were not told by the documentary. I also wrote about my years in prison. There are two million people sleeping behind bars on any given night in this country. I am I trying to dispel the myths about prison. I wrote of some mundane and some not so mundane tales of my years in prison. Along the way my goal is to show readers what day-to-day life is really like inside a maximum security prison. Writing about my release from prison proved to be the most difficult story to share, as that has been the most difficult time of my life. I have posted one excerpt from my book, "Sitting the Backseat of a Sedan" a present-tense narrative about my trip to attend my father's funeral in chains while I was still incarcerated. It was published in Swink! magazine, and I was invited to read from my essay at the Swink! publication launch party. You may listen (streaming audio) to my reading.
Here are two other excerpts from my memoir:
The first is a short section about a day in prison just before my release in 2001.
The second is a some of the events from March of 1988, while my father was home on house arrest. A very painful time in our lives.
While I was in prison friends had encouraged me to write about life in prison. In my ninth year I began feeling inspired and ended up creating a zine called "Fidjle". I had decided to share a newspaper clipping, or cartoon from my scrapbook, and then segue into some personal thoughts based upon that clipping. Every page of each issue is basically a collage. I cut things with a ruler and a pin (no scissors in prison) and then carefully taped the pages together. For me it was both writing and a form of "painting" each page. With the "Cenotaph" issue I became deeply involved with the collage aspect and found that artistic outlet to be immensely satisfying. I also had a new typewriter which permitted a form of “full screen editing”. I was able to incorporate word-wrapping of the text around pictures. Here is a pdf of Moon Landing Still Inspires as it appears in Fidjle. There are 15 separate elements cut and pasted by hand. You can also view larger images of some covers. I ended up in solitary confinement twice because the system viewed my "publishing" as a threat. They are afraid of inmates who are smart and can voice an opinion. I stopped creating "issues", but continued to write personal essays about life, feeling, thoughts, and prison, some of which are hyperlinked below. Please visit www.jessefriedmandefensefund.org/ for information on how you can obtain a copy of "Managed Despair", a 50 page collection of essays about prison life, and some of my post-prison adjustment. These are are a few of my prison essays:
Home | Appeal Motion | Affidavits | FAQ | Statement from Attorney | Case Documents | Other Injustices | Legal Defense Fund |
 "Fomite" June 1998
"Crucible" June 1999 "Cenotaph" January 2000 A nice picture of Jesse Friedman "The movie will begin in five moments," the mindless voice announced. "All those unseated will await the next show." We filed slowly, languidly into the hall. The auditorium was vast and silent. As we're seated and were darkened, the voice continued, "The program for this evening is not new. You’ve seen this entertainment through and through. You’ve seen your birth, your life and death; you might recall all the rest. Did you have a good world when you died? Enough to base a movie on?" |
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